The Ten Commandments For Parents To Have a Happy, Smart Child

1. Thou shall provide a home filled with love and joy
2. Thou shall respond promptly to the needs of your baby.
3. Thou shall talk and count to your baby as often as possible.
4. Thou shall be enthusiastic, energetic, and happy when talking, counting, playing, and stimulating your baby.
5. Thou shall read to your baby every day as often as possible.
6. Thou shall read the cues and temperament of your baby. Thou shall stop reading or stimulating her at the early sign of tiredness or bored-ness.
7. Thou shall not let her watch Television, VCR, or computer until she is 6 year old.
8. Thou shall not shout, fight, or be angry when baby is around her seeing or hearing distance.
9. Thou shall provide her with adequate books and toys for stimulation of her brain.
10. Thou shall maintain a stable and intact family.

Leo Leonidas, MD, FAAP,
Assistant Clinical Professor in Pediatrics,
Tufts University School of Medicine, Boston;

Attending Pediatrician,
Eastern Maine Medical Center, Bangor, Maine

Copyright Leo Leonidas 2002

More on disciplining

The second secret from Michele Borba's book, 12 Secrets Real Moms Know is: "A mother who is firm and fair gives her children a moral code to live by." The chapter includes the following 9 steps to dealing with bad behaviour firmly and fairly:

1. Establish your rules.
2. Deal with one behaviour at a time.
3. Connect calmly with your child.
4. Clarify your concerns.
5. Suggest a positive alternative.
6. Explain the consequence if the misbehaviour or rule infraction continues.
7. Correct the misbehaviour on the spot and carry out the agreed consequence.
8. Be fair.
9. Congratulate good efforts.

When disciplining, I will always have to remind myself to "discipline in love-- never in anger."

Potty training... one down!

M1 now wears briefs during daytime. He knows how to pee in the potty already. And he sure is proud about it. Every time after he pees, he beams and tells me that he peed in the potty. Then I congratulate him. I rewarded him with a small yellow car. Next up-- poo in the potty (if only he wasn't constipated most of the time). I can finally lessen our expense on diapers. =)

Reading by Demand!

M2 has developed a gusto for reading. It's the first thing that he asks in the morning, and the last thing that he asks for at night. Above anything else! Or else he'll throw a fit! Like when he woke up this noon after his nap. The moment he opened his eyes, the first thing that got out of his mouth was "Read tayo" (Let's read!). This compensates for his almost daily demand to watch "Finding Nemo" (he's not supposed to watch yet because he's not two years old... but he is such a choleric!).

Defying Defiance

There is a stage when toddlers test your limits, and assert their independence. This shows as the toddler being defiant. I'm not sure if all toddlers go through this, I guess a lot do, and Marek has just become one of them that do. How now? A lot of times there's power struggle-- sometimes we give in, other times he ends up crying or having tantrums, and some other times we just ignore his misbehaviour. On occasions, we are able to reason out with him and he understands, but sometimes he knows what is right but insists on what is wrong just so he could have his way.

Expert advice (What to Expect.com) includes: focusing on the positive, mean it when you say "no", and be consistent about the consequences; and by prevention-- explaining the reasons behind the rules, reducing unnecessary "no", not to admonish prematurely, encouraging self control, and acknowledging good behaviour.

Now, to help me know how to handle situations better, and for better parenting's sake, I'm reading the following the books: 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know by Michele Borba, and Masterly Inactivity by Sonya Shafer. And I'm seriously considering buying Laying Down the Rails: A Charlotte Mason Habits Handbook, also by Sonya Shafer thru Simply Charlotte Mason.com.

I pray I can handle this phase well, be able to set rules that can be (and ought to be) followed without crushing spirits.

Online Libraries

I am running out of fresh books to read to the 2 boys. Thanks to these 2 online libraries, I can print stories in an instant...

The Rosetta Project
The Baldwin Project

Ambleside Online also provides an extensive booklist.