Friday, August 23, 2013

What to say to kids instead (a repost)

Linking to this article before it gets lost under a pile of Facebook "likes".

10 Things to Stop Saying to Your Kids (and what to say instead)

Again, say (or something along these lines):
  • "You really tried hard on that!"
  • "I appreciate it so much when you cooperate."
  • "I saw you share a toy with your friend."
  • "I see red, and blue, and yellow.  Can you tell me about your picture?"
  • "It's not ok to hit your brother.  I'm worried he will get hurt, or he will retaliate and hurt you.  If you'd like something to hit, you may hit the pillow, the couch, or the bed."
  • "Thank you so much for helping me clean up!"
  • "Wow! You really tried hard on that."
  • "It's ok to cry.  Everyone needs to cry sometimes.  I'll be right here to listen to you."
  • "You're really disappointed that we can't go to the park right now, huh?"
  • "I know you really want to have a play date with your friend this weekend, and we'll do our best to make that happen.  Please remember sometimes unexpected things come up, so I can't guarantee that it will happen this weekend."
  • "I know you really wanted to do that, but it's not going to work out for today."
  • "I'm sorry you're disappointed, but the answer is no."
  • "Were you feeling frustrated because your friends weren't listening to your idea?
Reminder to self:
  • Teach that efforts are more important than results
  • Give children real information about what you want, and how it impacts your experience
  • Offer alternatives
  • Offer genuine gratitude
  • Be an example of honesty, or take responsibility for your failure
  • Empathize with their feelings
  • Open lines of communication
  • Verbalize for them what they feel

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